ceejaycregg:

runecestershire:

shakespeaker:

placebonacebo:

So my school is putting on a production of Macbeth and not enough guys tried out so instead of having a girl play male Macbeth, our direction said, “Fuck it, we’re doing Lesbian Macbeth”

This is the best possible solution.

I most heartily approve of this because it is awesome.

Brush

clientsfromhell:

Client: Hey, can you get me the name and number of all the people that looked at our site? Need to get the sales staff on the phones.

Me: That’s not how the internet works. We can’t collect info unless they fill out the form.

Client: Can you just hack it to get all their info when the go to the site?

Me: Please call me so I can explain the internet.

mugglebornheadcanon:

979. One of the Muggleborns enchants some blue-bound books to act like Tumblr, and then distributes them to all their Muggleborn friends. Word gets out and they’re forced to make more, and then the purebloods get into it and the staff members are so confused, what the heck is ‘Hogblr’? Why are they all talking about their ‘feels’? They have no clue, except for Flitwick. He’s the John Green of Hogblr. 

yaahoooo:

second time animating didn’t turn out as expected siiighhhhh but i seriously doubt i’ll be able to do something more badass than a certain sniper. ANYWAY I had to do something for all of you new followers aaackejlusdj hellu :H:

yaahoooo:

second time animating didn’t turn out as expected siiighhhhh but i seriously doubt i’ll be able to do something more badass than a certain sniper. ANYWAY I had to do something for all of you new followers aaackejlusdj hellu :H:

Anonymous;
So, story time: I am a transman. I got set up on a blind date with a lady. Nervous at first, but we really hit it off. She is gorgeous and sweet and we're both having the time of our lives, and long story short, we end up back at my place. Around the time things get going, I realize she doesn't know: virtually no one does (the friend who set me up on the date sure didn't). So I start to panic a little, because while I am totally into this girl, I've been turned down before when people (c)

molly-ren:

pervocracy:

get past the pants. So I’m suddenly freaking out, and as much as I love that this is happening, I’m trying to defuse the moment a little. I REALLY like this girl, I really don’t want to blow this. So she seems concerned, and asks what’s wrong, and she looks really freaked out that she’s hurt me or something (or so i assumed). At this point, we’re both nearing panic attack territory, and attempt to stop. While we’re trying to detangle from each other, I realize why she’s freaking out:

she’s gotten hard. Turns out, she’s trans as well, and was scared my panic was because I had realized, and was trying to bail on her for it. I explain, and she cracks the fuck up, and so do I, and long story short: we’ve been married for three years now. I figured you might enjoy, as you’re one of my favorite blogs for relationship/sexuality things, and I thought I should share. :D

Awww.  <3  Thank you so much for sharing, and congrats to you and your wife!

THIS IS THE BEST DATING STORY

alljustletters:

todust-togold:

If there is a small set of rules everyone in any fandom, anywhere, should know about, it is this:

  1. Respect the actors’ private lives and their rights to be with their family and go into public spaces without being mobbed.
  2. Understand the actor is not the character
  3. Sometimes the ship isn’t canon and you will have to accept that. (Do not bring it up to the actors unless they ask, and even then be polite about it.)
  4. Do not
  5. Do not
  6. Do not try and show the actors fanfiction.

yo, the last one goes for explicit and/or fic ship, and stuff you haven’t written yourself. a plot fic about the actor’s character can be a super cute present. just, you know, nothing that makes them uncomfortable. nothing they wouldn’t read willingly.

polar-bite:

clientsfromhell:

Client: Do you do lemonade?

Me: Do we do… lemonade?

Client: Yes, I was told you do that here.

Me: I’m sorry, this is a graphics and print shop.

Client: I know that. I’m not an idiot. 

Me: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -  

Client: Look If you can’t lemonade these papers for me then I’ll go somewhere else!

Me: Do you mean… laminate?

RETAIL

justcarl:

Mars Rover: $800m
Team to Operate: $1b.
Drawing a penis on the surface of another planet: Priceless.

justcarl:

Mars Rover: $800m

Team to Operate: $1b.

Drawing a penis on the surface of another planet: Priceless.

wannajoke:

Personal killer for sale

wannajoke:

Personal killer for sale

lamegrownup:

i dont trust people who are attracted to me…like why? write me a 10 page paper with a legitimate thesis and valid points backing up your claim or you fake.